Grandpa Doc

Is 90 years and 7 days old.

Is quiet but content at his retirement home

 -but back in the day he could spin quite a yarn.

Here's an example (edited for space):

"I guess I was about seven years old when I got myself and two of my older sisters into what turned out to be a rotten, stinking, mess!!

It was a fairly cool afternoon in early fall when I was wandering around the hay mow in our barn on the farm and I came across a nest of hen's eggs that I knew had been there for a long time - so I knew they'd be rotten.I  suddenly thought of a very devious plan. I knew that my two sisters, Viola and Kathleen would soon be coming to the barn to do chores. Following was my super plan!!!

There was a small door in the the hay mow directly above the door where they would be entering the stable below to do their chores. Here was my chance to do my dirty deeds!!! Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, they were approaching the door, talking as they walked.

As they were about to open the stable door, I let go with a hat full of eggs, maybe about a dozen of stinking horror! IT WAS A DIRECT HIT. What followed wasn't so funny. I had forgotten there was only one way to get down out of the hay mow - down the the silo chute. They quickly cut off my escape route and were on their way up!!

There was about a six foot drop from the haymow where I was trapped to the bottom of the chute. My sisters finally captured me and dragged me kicking and screaming, biting and gouging and any other terrible thing I could think of to fend off going back down that terrible chute and what might await at the bottom. 

They dragged me, still kicking and screaming, down the aisle to where there was a pig pen with about twelve half grown piglets. By this time I was getting worried to say the very least. If you have ever been near a pig pen, you would know by now why I was concerned.

Now for the grand finale. One of my sisters took my hands and ther other took my feet. One - Two - THREE and I was sailing through the air and landed, face down, in the pig manure.

I was covered with sloppy manure from head to foot!

I finally got myself together, climbed out of the pen and we all blamed one another for the mess we were in. To make matters worse, we had to go into the house. As usual my mother simply said 'Kids will be kids.'"